Our Story

That's okay it’s okay 

Paint me this way if you will 

I’ll be the villain of our story

 I’ll  take the pain, I'll take the hurt

Knowing you’ll be okay 

And I’ll bleed dry 

Just to know your safe 

I’ll be the villain of our story 

and you will never know how much it broke my heart

I'm Not depressed I'm Just Tired

And sometimes I can’t help but stare at my gun 

But there is no guarantee that I get it right the first time

I want it to be the only time.

You just took them  

Poisoned them 

I knew it would be a waiting game but I’m just so tired 

I don’t want to care anyone more

You stole them 

Moved them away without a word 

I will likely never see them again 

I so tired of hating you.

 I’m so tired of you trying to my manipulate me. 

I am free of you but I’ve lost a huge part of life. 

You will never again dictate my relationships or have a say in my life.

I don’t care that you won’t be there

but it hurts

I will conquer the world and you don’t deserve to see it.  

But I won’t be able to share any of it with them. 

I won’t be able to see their lives because of you

 and I will never forgive you for that. 

You truly are despicable to me 

Your existence disgusts me

And this isn’t even the end 

Though sometimes I can’t but stare at my gun 

But there is no guarantee that I get it right the first time

I get it but I still hate you

Sometimes i'm manipulative and that scares the shit out of me .

I start to understand it 

the feeling 

the rush

 the intoxication of bending someone to your will 

I get it

I understand it 

we were easy prey 

and it was fun 

but she won't find it easy anymore

she bent and bent until we broke 

she didn't understand though 

that I could be reforged 

burned into someone stronger

 that didn't need her poisonous praise 

so mommy dearest manipulating queen of a sinking festering island 

STEP TO ME