I'm Not depressed I'm Just Tired

And sometimes I can’t help but stare at my gun 

But there is no guarantee that I get it right the first time

I want it to be the only time.

You just took them  

Poisoned them 

I knew it would be a waiting game but I’m just so tired 

I don’t want to care anyone more

You stole them 

Moved them away without a word 

I will likely never see them again 

I so tired of hating you.

 I’m so tired of you trying to my manipulate me. 

I am free of you but I’ve lost a huge part of life. 

You will never again dictate my relationships or have a say in my life.

I don’t care that you won’t be there

but it hurts

I will conquer the world and you don’t deserve to see it.  

But I won’t be able to share any of it with them. 

I won’t be able to see their lives because of you

 and I will never forgive you for that. 

You truly are despicable to me 

Your existence disgusts me

And this isn’t even the end 

Though sometimes I can’t but stare at my gun 

But there is no guarantee that I get it right the first time