Sunshine

He would call me his sunshine
The pat of feet across my floor 
He would tug at my covers
He would climb the mountain that was my bed
He would pet my head and whisper in early morning hours
Wake up sunshine
Wake up
A muffle reply would greet him
Drowsy from late nights
My eyes would crack open to show I was awake
He would leave

The door would creak open
Screeching on hinges long over due for oil
He would stomp across the floor of my room
He would pet my head
Wake up sunshine
Wake up
A muffle reply would greet him
Half asleep still as the sun broken thought
My eyes would crack open to show I was awake
He would leave

The door would be thrown open
He would sprint across the floor
Leaping up that mountain
No more petting
No more whispers
WAKE UP SUNSHINE!
WAKEUP !
WAKEUP!
He screamed as he jumped on me.
He would not leave until I was upright
It was his mission given to him by the Warden of the house
and he would not fail.
Cause he loved his sunshine girl.

Her moon

So many parts of me are stories from you
you use to look at the night sky and sigh
my moon you would say
my moon you would squeal
that small glance
it brought so much delight
now i say it
only a sad smile
I know you can see it too
like a cheesy cliche line form a movie
but it's your moon
not matter how far away you are
I hope your moon is still bright
cause once upon on a time
your happiness would reflect and make the moon shine

loyalty

How funny it is
did you see how fast we closed ranks
how our lips tighten like the noose
no tea would be spilled
not from us
it's cold outside
but that was your choice
to walk out the door
I hope you freeze

You bang on the windows asking about us
oh how are my child i see you mouth
but your questions are ripped from your throat
 by a savage wind
never landing on our ears
our ranks are closed
and you walked outside.

full of blanks (F.t. with unanswered questions)

my head is so full 

but too blank to convey any of the thoughts held there 

they are speeding by unable to catch

i'm better then this 

i want to scream at the mirror 

falling back into such sweetly unhealthy habits 

the ones that fuck me into comfort and complacency

obsessively get on a scale, check 

stop eating, check 

pass out in the middle of a work out... there is a better way to do this?

am I really better than this?

what does that look like? 

not that, not me, 

will i ever be anything more then a copy of my mother 

i am fucking terrified 

i'm tired

The Verge

There are days were I can’t move

It hits me, my mind tumbles and for hours trying to figure out whats wrong

Then there's the feeling that you are on the verge of something like tipping over the cliff

the verge of crying? of falling? collapsing into a sleep you hope to the god you won’t wake

up from

If only it were that easy. Just not wake up. No have to face this.

who are we kidding I can't sleep

The sadness has stolen so much of my energy.

It’s a drain your life. The tension in my body builds like water behind a dam

Even my sleep is restless. I don’t have it together. I’m so easy to break

One of those nights

it's like this sometimes in the dark
when the direction of thoughts turn over and over
the mind boils and bubbles up with old torments
was it me?
did i cause this
what happened
why
no one answers
no one except me
sleep is a dream on these night
were the question plague and swarm
tired is more of a lifestyle then a temporary state
it's okay i deserve it
i can take it
it'snot a big deal
i was wrong wasn't i
isn't that why you left.
fuck all of this
why
it's just one of those fucking nights
the one were the headaches gather and throb
were no amount of breathing will fill your lungs
it's fine it's okay i'm okay?

Love and Loyalty

 I watched everything 

You preached  love and loyalty 

Your actions followed through 

Only just 

As long as there was praise 

That I didn't see 

I didn't see that need 

And when the cards began to fold 

And you ran away 

You shattered my perception

Betrayal sucked the air from my lungs  

But I finally saw everything

Love is not a feeling 

It's an action 

You were simply done acting 

Loyalty isn't suppose  to fade with the wind

Were you even loyal

I still love you but this still hurts 

You were suppose to be my example of love and loyaly

I expected too much of a human